Good things and cumbersome things

Hello dear family and friends!

I’m going to write about some of the sheerly happy things and feelings I’m experiencing here. We’ll mix these up between old loves and new, though I suppose they’re all truly a mix of both.

First of all, there’s the wind. It’s not always present, but it helps define Cape Coast for me. The heat can be overwhelming if you’re in the sun, but a spot of shade and a little breeze coming off the ocean make everything better. Wind makes it possible to have an open-air church. Wind from the sea rips away any pretensions when it comes through a taxi window during the day, and gently hugs you when coming through a taxi window at night. When the power goes out, we sacrifice privacy to receive the wind by tying up all the curtains. Wind is one of the many graces that allows my world here to function. And on Sunday night, when Akwasi, Lawrence, his wife, Katie, Chantal & I went out to dinner by the shore, the wind was a constant presence. I think it was blowing Northeast, not perpendicular to the ocean as I would have thought. And the whole time that we were eating dinner, I felt like dancing because the wind exerted almost the exact same gentle pressure as someone leading me… and it felt wonderful even though I couldn’t have a human partner.

Next: there’s this awesome little table, with its own tiny webbed table cloth, just inside my bathroom. On top of it, I have books, a light for when the power goes out, toilet paper, and also a vase with a fake yellow flower. That vase and flower on that cute little table, even though I don’t consciously notice them every day, make me inexplicably happy. They create a nice atmosphere in what would otherwise be a sterile place.

And of course, there are books. I only brought a few, but they were so good to me while they lasted. I’ve also recently found a library not far from where I work in Abura, and there’s a small room filled with books for adults (and a somewhat larger one for children) which I think will force me to stretch my reading habits :) But it’s also just so nice to have time to read again. Not all the things I’m reading are good, but I that makes me appreciate the good stuff all the more.

I am also truly thankful for malaria preventative medicine, multivitamins, and acidophilus: I haven’t really been sick yet. I’m thrilled.

I love the people who work at the stands below the seminary. They’re so nice, and they stretch my Fante understanding, but are very patient. And they let me go when I need to go. It’s nice to have people just to say hey to… who have no expectations of you beyond saying hello, who are perfectly content with the way you are.

I’m extremely amused by how popular my green dress and green flip-flops are here. I originally didn’t like the dress at all, but it grew on me, and the lovely ladies at Centenary UMC approved, so I brought it to Ghana, where it’s only been met with more approval. Some people have wondered whether I had it made here, which is a high, if accidental, compliment. (I’ll be getting some clothes made here soon). Also, the dress flip-flops that I asked Chelsea if I could bring have been a *huge* hit. And I don’t usually like flip-flops, but they give my feet enough padding, they’re nice enough to wear to church, and they’re pleasantly cool. I’m grateful that I was able to bring them.

Next, there’s the music on my laptop and MP3 player. I think that I left the cord for my MP3 player at home, but the music on it is good, and for either device, I love how the headphones allow some songs to tickle my ears, playing some things from one side, some things for another. That technique can be overused, but in general is underrated.

Finally, I love this stuff called Tampico. It’s a citrus drink, with orange, lemon, and the juice of something else I can’t recall… In fact, I think I’ve only had it four times – but it was so yummy. Completely worth remembering.

Now for some reflecting of a different sort. All this time in Ghana I’ve been incidentally, inadvertently drawing a lot of attention to myself. For the most part, it can’t be helped. I stand out. Men will continue to come and propose marriage (casually ;)) unless I cloister myself permanently in my family’s house.

However, there are particular activities which draw even more attention to me, even though that’s not my intention. Dancing and swimming are the best examples, because women here don’t dance in groups or swim as much as men. Then, beyond that, I have a different skin color from everyone else, so people can help but notice. I suppose, though, that it’s not truly the attention that’s the most difficult – it’s that if I draw the attention of X number of people, then Y/X will always come up and hound me, trying to get my phone number, or coming too close, or both. That’s the problem.

Of course, I’m becoming more and more aware of this issue, but at the same time, I don’t want to give up dancing or swimming. No one here would say that it’s wrong for me to practice these activities, and yet nevertheless I suffer negative consequences for doing them. Katie and I were talking about this, talking about how someone might argue that I’m “asking for it”, like they say that girls who dress scantily and are then abused are “asking for it”. But I’m not. I just want to dance and swim – and nothing that I can say or do can *make* someone do something. The argument about coercion as a limiting of options works in my favor, not in favor of the boys harassing me, who have every option of leaving me in peace and continuing with their normal activity. So Katie and I have been talking about the idea of women being punished, de facto, for activities in which they exercise free will. This whole set of ideas is very interesting, but I haven’t sorted out my feelings about them yet.

It’s also very difficult when people that I don’t trust say things about principles with which I agree. For example, men who dance too close to me say “Don’t you want to make friends and lasting relationships in Ghana?” Men in the street who say “Bra” (Come) say “I think whites and blacks should go together, like piano keys”. For this comment, I would go even farther, but while I have to agree with these comments, and while they’re being said with a degree of sincerity, they’re used to try and back me into a corner, to convince me to do something I obviously disagree with for completely different reasons. Also, men will occasionally ask, “Are you afraid of me?” or say “Don’t be afraid”. This is a tricky one. Very occasionally it’s said by someone I am beginning to trust. Most often, though, it’s said by men I don’t trust. And then I would like to say, “No, but go away”. That’s difficult, however, because they haven’t broached that level of rudeness, or done anything explicitly wrong. Often they’re so persistent because they’ve begun trying to flirt, and they don’t want to lose face in front of their friends by failing to get my phone number (so I’ve been told by one of them, and so I’ve perceived). Also, I’m generally not afraid of them – I would simply feel much more comfortable if they were not present. And so continues the host of evasive maneuvers which I’m learning to convince them that a) I’m truly unwilling, and b) not worth all this effort. I had to employ them yesterday to fend off a girl who wanted me to give her money, buy some chocolate, and take her with me to Cape Coast.

Of course, there’s also the reasons why I get harassed in the first place: a) the aftermath of colonialism and the continuing neocolonialism keeps people poor and desperate, b) people know that I have at least enough money to be here, c) Obrunis are often gullible, generous, patronizing, disrespectful, and contemptuous. Therefore, why not take advantage of anything they dish out? As in many cases, these are the reasons, but they’re not excuses. We need to get rid of these reasons, or most of them. I’m ok with generosity ;)

However, I would like to frame all of this by recognizing all the extremely nice, helpful people in these situations.

Ex 1: when I was swimming, there were three siblings and two other girls who wanted to play with me instead, and temporarily kept the cat calls at bay.

Ex 2: the most recent time that I danced with a group in public, some of the boys were legitimately nice and thrilled that I was celebrating dancing with them on the 50^th anniversary of Ghana. They didn’t make me stay the center of attention, but sincerely wanted me to join a circle of dancing. A few came up just afterwards and shook my hand, and another was telling me how glad he was that the anniversary had come, that Ghana had succeeded in peace for this length of time. He danced with me during the next song and fended off the more oppressive boys. The ones who had shaken my hand were silent support when I was trying to fend off another boy.

Ex 3: I got separated from my friends at this big shopping event (Trade Fair) in Accra two nights ago. I was tired, stressed out, unsure of how to get ahold of them, and generally looked lost. But then this guy came up to me along with his girlfriend (he was definitely much more talkative at first) and asked me how I was doing. We talked for a good while as I waited, and they stayed with me until I found my friends. They even insisted on getting me a soda. They definitely eased my nerves, and it was nice to meet random people and actually make friends for once.

So, anyway, those are the main thoughts I’ve processed from the last week ;) The 50^th anniversary celebration was awesome. We went to the main at Independence Square, which had an awesome atmosphere, and then saw parades and parties along the street near our hotel. It was extremely festive, and the cultural dancers were so impressive… it provided yet another example of how dancing is never completely new – it can simply take on new forms and contexts. Once I learn more about that type of dancing, I’ll let you know. Also, the night before that we went to “The President’s Show”, which was a huge concert with section of fireworks. The most moving part was watching Akwasi celebrate.

Perhaps there will be more on Accra once I have some more time to think about it ;) Classes start again tomorrow, and then we’ll be back into our “normal” routine for a short time.

I love you all, and I really do miss you! I think about you, pray about you, and even dream about you often.

Thanks for caring :)

Much love,

Rachel Rose